25 yo Melbournian. Born and bred in the shadows of a city called KL. Survives on chocolates, lots of sleep and the comfort of good company. Loves a good laugh, a good book, a good cry, a good movie.

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for." - Joseph Addison

"It is wrong for two people to live as one. Should one leave, the other person would therefore, be only half a person" - P.K. SHAW

30.4.04

We argue and argue and then ... we argue some more. Don't you realise how tiresome it gets going over the same thing a million times? Can you not hear the exasperation in my voice when we speak about it? Why do you keep getting on my back over the same thing all the time? I've heard it once and that is one time too many. You have got to stop making a big deal out of nothing. You should know by now how stubborn I can get, and giving me so much grief only stands to provoke me even further. Stop trying to pin guilt of any sort on me. I do not inconvenience you with what I do. Why should I feel bad? Why do you insist on making me feel bad? Is it merely because you know that I will? Because I do, and that pisses me off.

Please stop. I guarantee that both you and I will be much happier.

NOKIA 7200

28.4.04

My brother has been bugging me to upgrade my mobile phone plan and to get a new phone. I saw this in the papers today and I think it is AWESOME! Now, I have to wait for Optus to come up with a plan - a good plan - for this phone before i proceed.

.:Nostalgia:.

25.4.04

How do you erase memories that keep coming back to haunt you? No matter how long I close my eyes, or how hard I shut them to try and will them away, they come back. And it drives me insane because there is not a goddamn thing in the world that I can do to suppress them. Keep myself busy you say? It doesn't work, simply because subconsciously, the reason behind keeping busy consumes you anyway.

And what makes it hard is how good the memories are. It's easy to forget bad memories. The good ones, on the other hand are a challenge. They are a challenge because it brings you back to a happy time and place. And who wouldn't want that? Who doesn't have a bittersweet yearning for something good? If I had any super power at all, give me the power to bring time to a standstill. To trap myself in that one moment when it all felt right.

How do you move on, when all you really want is yesterday?

"The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so." - JOSH BILLINGS

23.4.04

There are questions that I wish I could ask someone, anyone about. But then I realise, nobody has the answers for me. There are things that I wish I could speak to someone, anyone about. But I realise, that nobody wants to know. Or perhaps, I would just rather people not know. Why should they anyway when it ain't their business? The more people know, the more they judge. And it doesn't matter how strong or trivial their judgments are, and how I purport not to care. At the end of the day, it does matter, whether we admit it or not.

And as a theory, bad opinions usually go around faster than good ones. We love when there's something bad to talk about. Something scandalous. Something nasty. Gossip thrives on the bad, never on the good. Imagine a bunch of guys (guys do gossip quite alot as I've come to learn), sitting around having a beer, talking about how their mate being a good husband, father, son etc. And now, imagine the same bunch of people, talking about how their mate cheated on his wife with her best friend. Which would be a more likely scenario?

Don't get me wrong. I love gossip as much as the next person, probably even more. It becomes different when you hear gossip about yourself - whether it's true or not. No one wants the bad stuff to get out.

Everybody has blue days...

22.4.04

Relieved would be a good word to describe how I feel. Subject 104 - Survival Models: Theory and Applications has been an absolute nightmare. Had a bad exam today. I don't think I could have studied more for it. Just not my day I suppose.

But what's done is done. Thanks to all you guys who wished me luck. A special special big thanks to Yu Ann for sending out 'brainwaves' all day! And thank you babe for cheering me up with ice cream and this awesome book. *hugs*

19.4.04

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY SUI LIN & GAVIN!!

.:Sui Lin:. Absolutely fantastic! I think that pretty much sums up how warm, friendly, hip, sexy, outgoing and fun you are! You have definitely made life more exciting in the short time that I've known you. All the parties that you've made me go to, and all the late nights of coffee and clubbing and the rest. I love how you're never too tired for anything, no matter how tired you are! Love ya babes! *muaks* And power to the SuiCon Enterprise!!

.:Gavin:. You're my happy place! THANKS for never failing to make me smile and laugh. You have the gift of comedy and you should make use of it! No outing would be complete without you. You definitely make everything more interesting. You are without doubt one in a million with all the strange obsessions you have with vegemite, parsley, beetroot, dishwashing and ghetto talk. Have a great year ahead. *hugs* Love ya!

"We always admire the other fellow more after we try to do his job" -WILLIAM FEATHER

16.4.04

Firstly, a WARM welcome to my new guestblogger Ben a.k.a Small Ben! Keep up the compliments and don't stuff up anything! *grins*

It is going to be a long weekend filled with nothing exciting but studying! I have an exam next Thursday and it is driving me insane. It's been a while since I've been subject to this torture of study, and it doesn't get any easier with age. In fact, it gets harder. I have no motivation left and no desire to excel. While the rest of the world is busy making plans and moving forward in their lives, here I am - Stagnant, Stationary, Static. Why do I not possess the burning ambition to be super successful? Contentment, I believe is the answer. While life isn't necessarily the most perfect that it could be - sure, I could do with all the material things in the world, supermodel good looks, and a Josh Hartnett lookalike as my partner - life isn't terribly bad. And while things remain the way they are without prospect and without the possibility of deterioration, I am content. Content to keep things simple. Content to kick back, sit out back on the porch with a mug of hot chocolate in one hand and a good book in the other, with the radio blasting out sing along tunes. Why change that which isn't bad?

Fear not as I am here!

15.4.04

God knows why anyone would ask me to blog on their site unless trying to scare away people. A million appologies to the |LoLa| fan base who I know eagerly await each post that she makes. When asked to do this, I had no clue what to write about, but since it is her site, I figured I better write something about her or I could be done for.

Lets see, I met this gal last year through a friend. First impressions was she was small and short, BUT very bubbly and cant seem to stop smiling and laughing. One thing I have learn in the short time I have met her is to be careful with the praises as the ego inflation factor in her is pretty massive, so Ill keep the compliments to the minimum. Lol...but in all truthful-ness, shes a great gal who has been a good friend to me. Therefore my first ever post on the world wide net is dedicated to her:

Noodle Queen

You may be small and clumsy at times (okie maybe more often than not), but you have a BIG heart to fit in. Three cheers to you. Bag of chuppa chups on me!

-small ben

Upcoming event .:COSMIC GATE:.

14.4.04

14.4.04

Reclaim was awesome last night!! Clubbing on a Tuesday - not something that I've done before! And despite all the horror stories about the queue at Reclaim, and having to wait forever to get in, it was nothing like it! After the doors open, we only had to wait for 10 minutes to get in. All three clubs were pretty good!

Odeon started off the night with the Miss University pageant. Hmm, not to be a bitch about it or anything, but the pageants, well, they could have been better looking? But heck, I admire their guts for going up on stage and letting people judge them. And having to do all that corny dance routines to Kylie Minogue's Can't Get You Outta My Head and JLo's Let's Get Loud.

Mercury was next on the agenda. Music was awesome. Crowd was jamming. Dance floor was packed. Hot guys everywhere. What more could a girl ask for. And finally, off to Heat to check out the Bass Agents who were f@!#ing awesome! And so were the two guys before them. Not sure who they were, but they were EXCELLENT! Especially, when he did the super mad ass, warp speed scratching of the vinyl!!

Headed home at 3! It was a great night out, and I can safely say that I enjoyed myself. Despite all the reluctance at the start, it was a great night out!

12.4.04

I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, life would be a whole lot simpler if we didn't have 'choice'. I'm sick of choosing, because whatever I choose, it is never the "right" choice. Even if it was the so called right choice, it would be wrong, just because I chose it. I am a walking disaster of wrong choices. Why does life insist on throwing choices at us, when there will always be only one right choice? Imagine a world where there was no such thing as choice. There would be none of that "you made the wrong choice" bullshit and none of that "bear the consequences of your actions" crap because everyone's just doing what they have to do. How much less stress and indecisiveness there would be.. no wait, there would be no such thing as indecisiveness because there wouldn't be any decisions to make.

Keeping it real, that will never happen. We will always have choice. And the underlying rationale for any of our choices is to keep someone or another happy. No one makes a choice to intentionally upset everyone. And happiness is ranked with priority to those we hold dearest. And when we let those at the top of the happiness ladder down, we feel that we made the wrong choice. And we hope, that the next time, we choose better. But do we really learn from our mistakes? Should we? Can we? Our choices reflect who we are. And to learn from our mistakes and to "not make the same mistake again" requires changing our choices. That would be a deviation from our true self. Does learning from our mistakes make us a better person? Or do we just end up being a hypocrite to our true selves?

Happy Easter!!

11.4.04

I can't believe it is Sunday already. Long weekends always go by so quickly, and it never feels like you've done enough or all that you planned to do.
There has been a few parties going on lately, and that's been keeping me pretty busy. I think I have been slacking off too much lately and I should slow down on the partying! It is taking a toll on me. I look like crap and have eyebags the size of whatever.
This is us at Elaine's last night, at her really cool place at the Docklands:

Clockwise from bottom right: Sau Yan, Gerry, Sui Lin, Eddie, Steve, Elaine, Tun & Kevin

All busy at a game of 'Weed'! Truly a game for stoners. Objective of the game: To plant as much weed as possible. One game that I truly suck at.

Blooper of the day
Lunching with En Shin and littlemisstinkles at Oporto. Quarter chicken and chips served on a plate on a tray. Got up and left. Decided to be helpful and clear the table and the trays. Proceed to carry trays to bin.
littlemisstinkles goes, "hey, Lola, I think you should just leave your tray on top of the bin because you have a plate".
Look at littlemisstinkles thinking "Is she talking to me? What is she going on about?"
Open bin. *PLING*PLUNG* Whoops! Ceramic plate falls into bin. Crap. Walk quickly out of restaurant.

9.4.04

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVEN!!

TEN years I've known this guy! Close friends for the first 3, lost touch for the next 6, and caught up again just recently. One of the most talented people I know- music, art, you name it. Thanks for letting me chill at your place whenever I'm bored to death! Love the pessimist in you, because it helps bring out the optimist in me!!!
p/s: There were supposed to be pictures from dinner @ Red Wok last night, but unfortunately, Sui Lin deleted all the pictures!!!

"Do not show your wounded finger, for everything will knock up against it." - BALTASAR GRACIAN

6.4.04

Communication, communication, communication. The lecturer has been drumming that into our heads for the past 5 weeks. One of the most important skills of being a professional is communication. If you can't communicate to the client what you've done, then you're better off not doing it at all.

Which brings us to the question: Why is it that people can write amazingly thorough reports, that drills right down to the nitty gritty details, yet when it comes to personal communication they fail miserably? Shouldn't communication be a skill, once learnt, be applicable to every circumstance, just like riding a bicycle? Communication has never been a strong point with me (well then again, neither is report writing!). I've had my fair share of communication "breakdowns". What I have yet to figure out is how these "breakdowns" happen? Mostly, I blame it on myself. I should speak what's on my mind a little more. Maybe I shouldn't be so untrusting of others. But is it not a dog eat dog world out there? A world full of pretence and malice?

"If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere"- HENRY KISSINGER

5.4.04

Happy Birthday Nick!!

I've only met Nick a.k.a Bobs recently, but he's a fun guy to shoot shit with! Always complaining that he's bored! Thanks (NOT!) for trying to get me drunk on my birthday!!! You evil, evil boy... hope you have a great one, and save me some cake oritez?!

I was asked today if I have ever been so involved with someone that it drove me to do something crazy. And my answer to that was a blatant 'No'. And I doubt my answer will ever change. I can't determine if it is a privilege to not be able to feel so much, or if it is a loss. People say that you've never truly lived until you've felt pain. Yea well, in my books, no amount of emotional pain is ever enough to numb any self-inflicted physical pain. I can't say if that is because I'm a wuss when it comes to physical pain, or if I'm just stone-cold inside.
Either way, I fail to understand how some of us are determined to go on, even when all the signs point to disaster. Is a relationship that is good for 1 year, and bad for the next 10 worth hanging on to? Shouldn't they be smooth sailing like in the fairy tales? Whatever happened to happily ever after?

"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed" - MARK TWAIN

2.4.04

I had a SUPERB birthday!! Twenty-two today. One year older. And hopefully one year wiser. To all my beautiful friends who called, SMSed, tagged, e-mailed, and dropped by at Velour yesterday, THANKS for EVERYTHING! The wishes, the cards and the pressies!! *HUGS* I love all you guys & gals!!

Thanks Mike for the awesome flowers!! You're the best!

Velour was good! I thought the music wouldn't have been too fantastic, it being Mambo night and all, but it was mostly R&B! (although the DJ stuffed up a few times!) Oh, also a big shoutout to Sui Lin for organising the tickets and suggesting the place! There were lots of familiar faces there, hot guys, not so hot guys, hot chicks, and not so hot chicks.

I am most proud to say that I escaped the alcohol torture that some people were intent on inflicting on me!! It was all part of a master plan!! *grins*Wait till I build my alcohol tolerance, and then we shall see who the last one standing is!! Haha.

Mel getting lucky with 2 hot chicks - Yu Ann & Sui Lin

Mel, Ru Hann, Angeline & Andy

Elaine & Mel

Mel & Mindy

Gavin & Mel - Gavin, you're my new favourite R&B dance partner!! Shake it!

Ben, Mel & Joy

Yu Ann, Sui Lin, Sau Yan, Mel & Elaine

And last but not least...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAYMEE!!